There's Horror in Trial and Error
*shudders*
Matty left for Zambia at 12:50am today, and not having been able to talk to him on the phone all day, I was filling in time until he rung from the airport. I decided to do this by giving my beautiful blog a make-over. Ooooh, yeah. Make-over...
I knew for certain I wanted to go black background. That was fairly simple. It was the picture that proved painful since it was originally black & white and it just wouldn't "fit" in. I tried every colour combination in the book: some ugly green (which I can't believe I was actually thinking was 'alright' after staring at it so long) and purple; then purple and pink like before, but the pink just came out looking like some pasty watermelon red (it was seriously gross); then I tried to concoct some turquoise combination with the purple, but I've always had a problem with turquiose...a worse problem than with the green, so that left pretty quick; which all landed me back with just my lovely purple...
That prosed problems as well. For my photo was still white at that time and with the purple it looked "left out". I finally got this brain-wave to colour it purple. Duh. So, yes, that's where it all went. Purple. It's a rather monotonous colour scheme, but for now it seems to work ok. It's gonna have to stick around until I can figure out some highlight colour that doesn't look *odd* with the purple, anyhow. ;)
Oh, and Matty did eventually ring. At exactly midnight. He managed to drag half the sleepy inhabitants of the house out to wish him a sweet goodbye, which is rather a feat considering how obsessive my whole family is with holding onto sleep once they've slipped into it.
On a total subject change: I really like *Isky's photo...I was actually going to put another of hers up (two white orchids), but when I went to get it I found this one and without a fight it won over the other. I think it's because this one tells a story. Though, not really a set story, but more like those ones where you make it your *own* story, for each one of us has a small part inside that is ever withdrawn--absent--from the world. Sometimes at peace; somtimes hiding the tears.
Quote of the Moment
The last few mornings I've been sleeping straight from 2am to lunchtime. It was a little stranger than usual and I coudlnt' figure it. But I finally got it. It's my Glandular Fever coming back to haunt me *slaps forhead*.
Dad needed me to do some sheep work this afternoon. It was only 2 1/2 hours but by the time I got back home I was really feeling weak and wasn't far off getting the shakes. I had a record shower and flopped into bed, sleeping all through tea to wake up around 7:00. It was when I woke up with my skin feeling all tender, that it finally dawned on me. I felt sick. It was none of the usual just being tired.
So far, it doesn't feel anywhere as bad as my last relapse but it does look like I'm going to be extra out of it for at least the next few days. In the mean time, I can really relate to this quote--and am also going back to bed. :P
~~~
Rest is the ultimate humiliation because in order to rest, we must admit we are not necessary, that the world can get along without us, that God's work does not depend on us.
~~~
Mike Yaconelli
Welcome to the Caribbean, love!
You are obsessed with Jack. Like me! Lets hope
everyones lucky enough to have 701 pictures of
him. Like me.
Pirates of the Caribbean is probably not the best to go around endorsing in the way of morals, but man, is it the most fun! Better than floating around on some amusement part ride for sure. It's so clever. Every second line is a one-liner. And every character is so rich and well-made-up.
I remember when I first saw it. It was back in September when I was down south visiting my grandparents and Matt. I hadn't even seen the trailor for it, but Matt had and convinced me that it looked good enough to pay $12 bucks to go see (it was it's second day out in cinemas so the price was higher than usual). I ended up laughing myself histarical--and not just at the movie. See, just before going in Matt had been teasing me about--because as he reckons it--laughing too loud in movie theatres. So, after I strongly disagreeing with him...and then ending up faithfully promising not to laugh too hard when everyone else in the cinema isn't, what should happen?
He laughs. And not just the usual little half chuckle, he
laughed straight from his belly and through the entire movie. It was so funny. That's like the end of all flak he's ever going to be able to dish out to me about laughing too hard in cinemas. lol
Well, Grandma has been faithfully keeping her eye out for it to come out on DVD and she just sent us the Collector's Edition the other day. My Mum absolutely loved it as I thought she would. She's a soft spot for eccentrics and one-liners. I remember warning her, "It does kind of endorse piracy" and she was like, "Oh, piracies fun!" So, yes, that's my Mum. If I can be forgiven for boasting, she's just the coolest ;) So is my Daddy.
>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<
In more serious news: I found this really interesting
article on the Passion by a pastor today. I haven't yet seen the movie, and have had hesitancies about it. Not in relation to believing it being bad or anything. Just something...and I really coudln't define any of it and make it into words. Reading this guys article really defined for me a little of what I've been thinking. Do check it out, it's pretty short and worth the read even if just for a better idea of how we should be as Christians.
A God Thing
Last night (before I posted about not coping) I wrote a long journal entry to God asking alot of specific "Whys?". It was a long vent mostly....then after I posted to you guys, I visited a few other blogs before popping into Jolene's. I actually didn't plan to visit everyone, just before visitng Jolene I had almost left and gone to bed. It was a God Thing that I did, because her page began downloading and the instant I saw the title of her post "Flower in the Rain" I nearly burst into tears again. I knew instantly that it was God talking to me--gently touching my cheek with His strong finger and whispering to me: "This is my answer, dear child. Remember?"
I'm ashamed to say, He'd told me before. That's why when I saw the title I already knew what He was telling me. I just didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to accept that perhaps He was allowing me to go through this rough season just so that I might draw closer to Him, because in my prideful arrogance I'd made myself the illusion that "I had it together", that my relationship with God is wonderful and all good. But it's not. It's very feeble. And just admitting it, isn't going to make it perfect. It'll never be perfect. But it can be better, and right now I realise that I'm going to have to go back to my Father more than I have been. I need to give this whole mess of my life to Him. Need to talk with Him when I'm so upset and depressed. Not just about Him.
Like I told y'a'll in a few previous posts, I wrote that small metaphor about how in "trials and suffering we're like flowers in the rain" about three years ago. God had already written on my heart the answer to all my questions these three years later. They'd just become so well-known that they didn't really hit home as effectively as they have in the past. So, when Jolene took them and wrote this beautiful song out of them, it was like I was reading anew the words from God that had been sent from Heaven three years previous.
Thank you so much, Jolene. You're a dear sister in Christ. Love you :)
Flower in the Rain
Pale blossom, face upturned to the sky
So frail, I am but beginning to take root
I’m staring at the gathering clouds and I
I can’t believe the storm’s come so soon
Where did the sunny skies go?
And why do I get the feeling You aren’t listening to me?
I’m cringing under this rain now
My safe known world is out of control, spinning suddenly
Upturn my face to the rain
Soak up this pouring storm
Wash my inconsistencies away
When the clouds roll back I’ll see the morn
Upturn my eyes to the sky
Let this storm strengthen me
Make me more beautiful in Your eyes—
Like a flower in the rain
Roots scrabbling for a decent hold
I’m unsure of where I’m going
The storm is beating me down
What was that about growing?
I’m pushing against the torrent falling
If I don’t let myself wilt beneath this driving pain
I can see it’s to a deeper life You’re drawing me
To be strengthened past my cringing shame
Repeat chorus…
Can’t let this pouring rain drive me into the mud
Can’t let it drown me in its relentless downfall
I’ve got to put these roots out to the One
That holds me up through this passing squall
Strengthen me, drive away my shame
Let this downpour drive me closer to Your ways
Let these storms make me more beautiful for the pain
That I may bloom through these cloudy days
Like a flower in the rain
© 2004 Jolene R
...when the mountains look so big...
I lost my temper at the people I was upset with this evening--right in front of them. I know that sounds kind of strange, saying it like that. But I do get upset--contrary to common belief--and I'm just one of those people who are very skilled at not doing it in public.
I won't try to explain the situation and all of it's details. It's just that if I were to explain it, you wouldn't understand I dont' think. And not because it's overly complicated, just because my life is different. So different from even my friends who live on cattle stations, that if I were to try and explain all of it and everything, it would all be a helpless attempt.
I'm still upset...and I'm not sure yet what exactly to do. And I just wanted to ask: would you please play for me? Not just that I'd get better physically, but that until I do I'll be able to deal with getting upset so quickly and this constant onslaught of depression. Right inside--under the fatigue and migraines--I'm simply not coping.
When I'm crying out "why?"; when my life no longer makes sense, it's these two songs written by Rich Mullins that always come back to play in my mind. They give me a tune for the words in my heart.
Hard to Get
You who live in heaven
Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth
Who are afraid of being left by those we love
And who get hardened in the hurt
Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape
To find the faith to ask for daily bread
Did You forget about us after You had flown away
Well I memorized every word You said
Still I'm so scared, I'm holding my breath
While You're up there just playing hard to get
You who live in radiance
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin
We have a love that's not as patient as Yours was
Still we do love now and then
Did You ever know loneliness
Did You ever know need
Do You remember just how long a night can get?
When You were barely holding on
And Your friends fall asleep
And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat
Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While You're up there just playing hard to get?
And I know You bore our sorrows
And I know You feel our pain
And I know that it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained
And I know that I am only lashing out
At the One who loves me most
And after I have figured this, somehow
What I really need to know
Is if You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time
We can't see what's ahead
And we can not get free from what we've left behind
I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears
All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret
I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here
To where I'm lost enough to let myself be led
And so You've been here all along I guess
It's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get
Copyright 1998 - Liturgy Legacy Music / Word Music / ASCAP
Hold Me Jesus
Sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
Copyright 1993 - Edward Grant, Inc.
Oh, yeah...that.
* There are 8 doors to my bedroom and I'm thinking I should give each one an individual name.
* I'm unashamed to admit that I've lately become attached to the phrase: "OK, now that's just too disturbing!"
* Tach (online nickname for my older sister, Rachel. The explanantion requires going back quite a few years so ask at your own risk) visited my blog again yesterday--but didn't leave any comments *turns evil eye at Tach*
* I recently got a free scarf. It's so pretty: melted-chocolate brown and woven in a chunky style with a fringe of threads at each end.
* It's Autumn...NOT SPRING *looks at the Americans pointedly*
* The Christmas cards I received from loving friends last year are still standing on my "Christmas Shelf". I'm thinking I probably won't ever get around to pulling them down until the forces of life demand that I have another shelf to stash cloths on.
* Homemade toffee is officially inedible and you better believe it, mate.
Quote of the Moment
~~~
"so copy, paste, and dedicate"
~~~
Kayci[e]
One Night of My Life
I thought I was in a mess last week, but this week is beyond messed up. Any sleeping routine I ever had has run off and abandoned me.
Last night I was so exhausted after tea, I just hopped straight into bed. I woke up 3 hours later in a total sweat. It was so gross. I don't usually wake up so hot and covered in sweat like that, but my doctor was telling me that it's one of the top symptoms of thyroid problems and she was surprised it didn't happen to me all the time.
Well, those three hours of sleep seemed to do more for me than a whole twelve. My head was clear (no migraine, it was the strangest sensation). I still felt really weak and tired in my body, but my brain wasn't going to let me go back to sleep (it's a nasty cycle. My brain and body just aren't in sync very often at the moment. When ones tired the other isn't and so in the end the one that's awake won't let me sleep).
I watched half a movie; finished A Voice in the Wind; and at 1:00 in the morning decided to change the sheets on my bed (coz' they were so gross with sweat) and have a shower. I had to laugh, because here I was changing my sheets at one in the morning, and my little sister, Hannah (12), opened her eyes and said, "Hi". Then promptly rolled over and went back to sleep. I think she must be so used to living with a sister who lives such crazy hours that nothing surprises her anymore. If Lyd's changing her sheets after midnight, well, no problem. That's just, Lyd! lol It's really quiet good, I guess, since we never seem to go to bed or get up at the same times anymore, but since we're both such sound sleepers we don't usually wake each other up if we're banging around the room.
I had my shower, and felt so nice afterwards. Snuggled up in my bed (sleeping backwards....simply because I sleep so much I've become bored sleeping with my head up the other end...) I started Echo in the Dark and waited until 3:00am when I needed to take my tablets. It wasn't, however, until 4:00 o'clock that I was finally able to fall back to sleep for the second time that night. I slept 'til 9:00 o'clock this morning and woke up feeling like I'd been drugged...But, that aside, I figure I had about 8 hours sleep last night. Just all broken up.
It seems to be the only way I can get sleep: in patches. My body has to be totally exhausted before it can't not sleep; to that point where I can't even look at a person without them blurring. And I think it's mostly because of the pain in my head. Migraines control the body. That's that.
Not all my nights are like last night, but I think 97% would have to be close. What's surprising is that today I actually had an above-average day. I felt horrible when I woke up, but I chatted with Matt for a while this morning and once I hung up my body seemed to have gathered itself together a bit. I got some desperately needed "secretarial duties" done, which is such a nice feeling.
But that's the simple truth of it. I never know what the night is going to be like, and then in kind never know what the morrow holds. 'Cause even a bad night doesn't mean the worse-of-days the next. And not even a good night means the best-of-days either.
But then, I never do have a best or a worse day. I have worse-moments and best-moments. One certain emotion for me can't last a whole 24 hours. My body is too unstable at present for that kind of consistantness.
Like a Flower In the Rain
Last night after I finished my brief post about being so tired, I remembered a small reminder I once wrote myself. It must have been over three years ago now. I was having to work through some things in my life and it really felt like I was screaming out to God and all I was hearing was silence. Almost like I was yelling back at thunder. I felt helpless, like I was drowning and being pelted into the ground. The suffocating feel of drowning has come back quiet a lot lately and especially last night. I'm just so exhausted and most days it seems that the roof of my world has cracked and the rain is pouring in, set to drown me.
And I think it must be a God Thing that the metaphor I wrote over 3 years ago applies more so to my life at this moment than it did back then. It goes:
~like a flower in the rain~
Do not let the rain pelt you into the ground.
And do not let it drown you in it's waters.
But thank the Lord for these trials and this suffering,
Through which our Saviour can strengthen every fibre in us.
That you will not be crushed into the dust of this land;
That while your roots are growing stronger and deeper
Into the earth, you will become
More beautiful that before--like a flower in the rain.
The orginal version that I wrote on a piece of lined paper in pencil is still tucked into my Bible at Psalm 77. Before writing it, I'd just discovered that chapter and at the time claimed it as my *own*. I was seriously doubting if God really existed at the time because I just couldn't
see Him. Know what I mean? And this chapter rocked my boat, reminding me to "appeal" this to "the years of the right hand of the most High."
Psalm 77
1 I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted.
3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
Selah
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
5 I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart mused and my spirit inquired:
7 "Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"
Selah
10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal:
the years of the right hand of the Most High."
11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD ;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.
13 Your ways, O God, are holy.
What god is so great as our God?
14 You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
Selah
16 The waters saw you, O God,
the waters saw you and writhed;
the very depths were convulsed.
17 The clouds poured down water,
the skies resounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.
18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
your lightning lit up the world;
the earth trembled and quaked.
19 Your path led through the sea,
your way through the mighty waters,
though your footprints were not seen.
20 You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
*squeals excitedly*
Oh, my it was so exciting: Robin Jones Gunn is in Australia and I heard her over the phone! I wrote about it on Robin's Sisterchicks site and so as not to have to repeat everything I'll just copy and paste what I wrote there, kay?
Here 'tis: The run-down on my wildly fun Sisterchick morning ;)
~~~
It was the wildest wake-up call I've ever had. My little sister shook me awake, and pushed the phone into my hands with a "It's Rachel."
All Rachel, my older sister, said was: "Shut up, Robin Jones Gunn is on the radio!"
And that's how I heard your interview over FM1032. I live 14 hours away from Sydney up in Queensland, but your voice was carrying perfectly over the radio, up the phone line, and into my handset!
You've been our favourite author ever since back when Rachel first read The Sierra Jensen series and then passed them onto me with a, "You have to read these!" And we've read every book of yours since (just have to find the money to get the Sisterchicks series now!).
When you said you were here in Oz researching for Sisterchicks Go Down Under, we both screamed. I think it's the most excited we've ever gotten together when on the phone! lol
Anyhow, I just had to let you know to what lengths a pair of Sisterchick sisters will go to, to share the experience of listening to you live on the radio. We loved hearing your answers to Joanne's questions, and totally can't wait until the last book, Sisterchicks Go Down Under comes out.
I hope you have an awesome time here in Oz. Do you plan to do the bridge climb? ;)
Sonrisa!
Lydia--who is still-extremely-excited-and-still-smiling-madly
P.S. I'm also one of the crazy Australian fans who sent you a letter once. Thanks again, for the wonderful postcard you sent back :)
~~~
*grins wildly* She has an accent that sounds really similiar to yours Kayci! She lives in Portland, Oregon so I'm guessing it must be the Southern Belle twang, am I anywhere close? And oh, it was so exciting! Rach and I just kept screaming. lol
And since Rach lives in Sydney she's like, "I've got to go out today. See if I can find her!"
And I was like, "Yes! You could like wander the streets with a photo of her, asking people: 'I'm looking for Robin Jones Gunn. Have you seen her?' " Oh, man, now I really wish I wasnt' going to Sydney in a couple of weeks but was there
right now! he..he..This is such an awesome day! Just remembeirng being woken up by the voice of my favourite author is going to keep me high for a minimum 24 hours. *giggles*
Soooo tired...
I ran out of my medication there for 3 days before more came in the mail; had to work in the yards helping sort sheep this 'arvy; have caught this darn cold that's going around (I just hope it doesn't triger off a Glandular Fever relapse); haven't been able to fall asleep until early morning hours every night of this month; and mostly--am just so tired.
So sorry, but I'm gonna have to catch up with y'a'll and change the picture on my blog sometime later. The warm tendrils of sleep are pulling me in. Just hope I get my one break of the month and actually fall asleep the first time I curl up in bed tonight.
*is still laughing over the picture of Orlando Bloom*
On a scale of 1-5, 1 being the lowest and 5 being
the highest, you are.......Level 2 obsessed!
You've seen the movies, probably read the
books, and know that Tolkien is a truly
fantastic author, and that Middle-earth is THE
place to be.
How obsessed are you with LotR?
Well, I'd have to say that's pretty accurate. I'm not overly obsessed. Just enjoy them and don't mind talking about them. I can just see my younger sis, Hannah, and Jolene getting a big fat 5 on this quiz.
Quote of the Moment
~~~
I wince at people who say that worship music has to be a certain kind.. or have certain words. Because I find I talk to God about a lot of different music, and enjoy the songs with Him.. and to me that is worship.
~~~
... ...posted by Julie
Phone Bills
I've been spending so much time on the phone lately with Matty. It's only two weeks before he leaves for Zambia and it's all down to the tiresome waiting stage. He's got all his stuff, his plane ticket, everything, so mostly he's just working and sleeping. I'm gathering up the loose ends for the "books" and so we keep having to ring each other and always end up talking for an hour or two. I'm so gonna miss the long chats when he's gone.
We've always been really close from way back when I was about 12. I guess in alot of ways we know we can say or philosophize over anything and the other won't get shocked at what we say. Instead, it's usually like, "Yeah, yeah. You know, I was thinking something like that the other day...." In a lot of ways, I guess, we're like that old cliche, we "click". I'm just so blessed to have him as a big bro, and not just as a physical one but a brother in Christ too.
Ninos
Aaron (8 yrs), one of my little bros, has become addicted to playing his favourite DVDs in other langauges. It's so amusing. He popped on The Lion King before in Hebrew, and there he is laughing in all the right place. As he puts it, "I know all the funny parts." Aye, he does. He has them memorized, just not in English but Hebrew as well (and Deutsch, and German, and Arabic). lol
It's probably what a teacher would describe as great "exposure to other languages". He's also young enough that he picks up the accents and how to say the words with ease. Still so funny, though, since he'll wander around the house singing, say Hakuna Matata, in Hebrew.
To move to another bro, Josh (13 who's b'days this month), he just started his own Blog the other day. It has an awesome template (which I would have used myself if I wasn't already happy with the one I've already got) ;) and can be sampled at -Out and Not In-. Do pop over and leave him a comment, kay? :D
Interesting This
You are a human shadow. If a loved one needs you,
you are always right at his or her heels! Your
deep social connection with human beings
produces your qualities of genuine caring and
charisma. However, at times you are naive to
the true nature of your loved ones. Remember
that humans' gift of free will does not always
lead them in wise directions. But your essence
of love and friendship represent the other
precious gifts of humanity. Overall you are a
strikingly valuable and innocent being who has
a lot to give.
What Kind of Shadow Are You?
MOVIE QUOTE
~~~
"There's only so much room in this noggin' *taps head pointedly*, and it's fillin' up fast."
~~~
-Baloo the Bear
Disappearing Lawn
It is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. Just looking out our huge kitchen window at the lawn and it looks like it's wriggling....and if you can remember what it looked like yesterday you also notice that's it's slowly disappearing. Blade by blade.
It is the grasshopper plague.
Seriously, I've never seen anything like it. In short, we've never had anything like it. About three days ago huge clouds of grasshoppers started flying in from the North and settling onto our lawn (which is rather big). There's so many of them that when you look at the ground it appears to be moving (coz' the grasshoppers are brown). Now, three days after they flew in, our lawn has progressed past the stage of "mown" to nearly-not-existing-anymore. In places where the grass used to be thin it's just dirt.
It's just bizarre. Well, probably not actually. Just a smaller scale of the huge grasshopper plagues that you read about in books like the Laura Ingalls Series where they'd fly in and eat the whole wheat crop in just one day. Apparently they were so thick back then that in the middle of the day it would be dark inside the house as if it was dusk. Now that would be an experience!
And I have to admit, we've started eating them....
Okay, I'm half-kidding. To explain: the running dare in this house is to dip a grasshopper in honey and eat it (like John the Baptist did) and quiet naturally whenever anyone got the nerve up to do it there just wasn't a grasshopper to be found anywhere. So they got let off the hook--for the time being.
Then in come all these grasshoppers. Naturally, the dare intensifies and finally a certain mortal decides to take the plunge: one of my younger bros, Josh (13 yrs). Off he goes, and after much pouncing and lamenting catches one. Then with a melodramatic ceremony, dips the unfortunate victim in sticky honey and pops it into his mouth. The verdict? "Kinda crunchy but all I can taste is honey." he reckoned.
Weeeeeeell, if honey was all he was going to taste then that just wasn't good enough for us the viewers who wanted a real show. He now had to eat one plain without anything. Which he did....with sadly no more great results except to gross out Mum by saying, "It's kind of weird, coz' you can feel it wriggling when you're chewing it."
Anyhow, after that all was forgotten for a while, until we had visitors, our cousin Jonathan (who is only really tall and kinda broad but not like a bouncer, Kayci....sadly) and his wife, Sheema. Sheema is Asian and had a friend once who went to Thailand and sent her back photos of how they eat heaps of insects over there. Apparently, the Thai's favourite way of eating grasshoppers is to fry them up with chilli. As it turns out, Sheema is no less a darer than we are and she bagan daring us as a whole to fry up a handful of the abboundance of little hoppers that were overtaking our lawn and eat them. I think I'll just have to say that we're that mentally insane to try it. Like, why not?
Out comes the frying pan. The chilli (alot). And a few unlucky grasshoppers.
And you know what? The whole mentality towards grasshoppers is all phychological. Fried up and covered in chilli it's just like eating the crunchy fins of a fish (did you ever do that as a kid?). You can't taste anything. All there is, is this horrific bang in your mouth from the chilli. lol Though, if you really concentrate you can imagine some kind of chicken flavour.
So seriously, if you ever find yourself marooned on some island and you become bombarded with grasshoppers. Eat them. Fry them up with chilli. It's a lot nicer experience than trying to eat, say, pig brains (something I did whilst I was in Cambodia. Just for the record: DON'T EVER EAT PIG BRAIN! It's revolting.).
Brazil #0401
So exciting; it was mail day again today! And the support pack came back for my missions trip to Brazil this year. I know, it seems rather insane going and signing up for a missions trip with me being so sick at the moment, but I heard there was a 20 team member reserve on this one team (the one I really want to go on!) and I figure that I'd be more disappointed if I got better and then found out I was too late to sign up, than to not get better and have to fall-out of the team.
Plus Mum was encouraging me to take the leap, and I also felt that God was telling me it was the right thing to do. Nothing inside of me was tugging me back, saying: "Wait." So here's to believing I'll be better before the Christmas holidays.
In Brazil we'll be living for about a week and a half on a boat and stopping off at villages doing evangelisms. The river we'll be on is a main one that flows into the Amazon. I'm seriously wondering whether we'll be able to swim or not.....just think alligators and peranas (sp?). Yikes! But then interesting! Should be rainy too, since it'll be the rainy season up there. So pretty though with all that green forest and cool wildlife.
The other 1 and a half weeks we'll be helping run the Brazil Boot Camp (10 day training period for the teams before they leave for their projects over seas), and doing maintenance on the site. It'll be so much fun getting to know heaps of Brazilian teens. Anyhow, go to the Teen Missions Site, click on the "Summer Teams" link then on the "Brazil" link, and read their run-down on the team.
You know, if I go on this team I'll have been to 5 different countries. To explain: when I went on the missions trip to Cambodia 2 years ago we had a stop-over in Singapore. That's 2 countries (besides Oz that is). And to get to Brazil we'll be changing planes in first, New Zealand than Argentina. So that's Singapore, Cambodia, New Zealand, Argentina, and Brazil; five countries. ;) Technically, I'll almost be caught up with Matty....
strange as news from out of bree
* I'm currently reading The Fellowship of the Ring (this is all y'alls cue to gap in amazement)
*Only use Photobucket to host your online photos and not Ofoto (thanks to Ruth Ann for the hint)
*Attacking the ants in your kitchen with Bug Spray will make your nose run, your eyes water, and bring on a sneezing spree so bad that everytime you enter the kitchen during the rest of that day the horrible symptons will intensify.
And finally:
*If you're days don't entertain you enough and you get bored with sleeping at night, throw your pillow up the other end and sleep "backwards". You'd be amazed at how much this can scare you when you wake up the next morning.....
Not as Strong as We Think We Are
One of my presents from Christmas last year was the Rich Mullins Collectors Edition Here In America CD/DVD. Next to Third Day he's got to be my favourite singer/song-writer. His lyrics are so unique, always looking at something in such a frank and honest way that we ourselves don't think of.
He was fairly "unique" himself. One of those out of the mould types. He apparently wrote all his songs in his head, as in never wrote a lyric down....you've probably heard his song Awesome God which he actually wrote in the sweaty cab of a ute on the way to a concert one day.
I love not just this song, but it's title too: we are not as strong as we think we are. And it's too true. We all have these little egos that often expand bigger than they should, and pride that often won't let us back down when we know we should. So often we get caught up in the eddy of life and don't turn around and swim against the tide as Christ calls us too. Quiet frankly we're not strong enough to, either. We're all so frail. Yet God isn't and He promises that "our weaknesses will be made strong through His strength". I have to keep turning to God--seeing and admitting my weaknesses and acknowledging his supreme glory that I keep trying to steal--though, to remind myself that I'm simply no where near as strong as I think I am. The one line in this song that really drives that point home to me is: "But I can't even keep these thoughts of you from passing by".
Just before playing this song live, Rich Mullins once commented that "this was the most honest love song I could write."
We Are Not as Strong as We Think We Are
Well, it took the hand of God Almighty
To part the waters of the sea
But it only took one little lie
To separate you and me
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
And they say that one day Joshua
Made the sun stand still in the sky
But I can't even keep these thoughts of you from passing by
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
We are frail, we are fearfully and wonderfully made
Forged in the fires of human passion
Choking on the fumes of selfish rage
And with these our hells and our heavens
So few inches apart
We must be awfully small
And not as strong as we think we are
And the Master said their faith was
Gonna make them mountains move
But me, I tremble like a hill on a fault line
Just at the thought of how I lost you
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
We are frail, we are fearfully and wonderfully made
Forged in the fires of human passion
Choking on the fumes of selfish rage
And with these our hells and our heavens
So few inches apart
We must be awfully small
And not as strong as we think we are
And if you make me laugh
I know I could make you like me
'Cause when I laugh I can be a lot of fun
But we can't do that I know that it is frightening
What I don't know is why we can't hold on
We can't hold on.
When you love you walk on the water
Just don't stumble on the waves
We all want to go there somethin' awful
But to stand there it takes some grace
'Cause oh, we are not as strong
As we think we are
No, we are not as strong
As we think we are
Copyright 1996 - Class Reunion Music, Kid Brothers of St. Frank Publishing
My Darlings
Feeling so much better today. I slept fairly solid last night, and this morning I'm only a little tired with a dull headache. So, that's definitely a praise point :)
Plus today was Mail Day *dances* I know, we get a little over excited about mail days, quiet simply because we only have it once a week (on Thursdays). And today we were expecting to get some photos back that we'd sent off to get developed (aye, we do practically everything by mail).
For starts these are two of my three darlings (e.g. babies) at the moment, twin kid goats. Josh found them abandoned under a bush when he went for a motorbike one day. They were only a day old and still rather wobbly on their legs. So cute. When this photo was taken however, they were about two weeks old and quiet steady enough on their feet to jump and dance all over the place. Goats are just the best fun for pets. The first baby goat I had used to tap dance on the bonnet of my Dad's ute (pickup or truck for you Americans). She thought it was great fun, sadly Dad didn't agree with her.....
The white one is Darija; the black one Diago. And the one below is of one of our cats, Yoda. He's got this obsession with boxes and on this day we found him fast asleep in this old styro-foam box. I know I describe myself as "much like a cat" at the moment, but I seriously hope I don't look like that when I'm woken up!
My-Best-Photo-of-January and My-Best-Photo-of-February coming soon.
To Heaven Early
What a doozy of a day....
I don't intend to turn this blog into a pity party but today was the day to hit the top of the bad-days-chart, and it's got to be noted as an historical event. Though, perhaps it would be better to let its memory fade into the mists of time.
For a brief explanation: Matty (my older bro) is going to Zambia end of this month as a support missionary and I've promised to be his "secretary". Meaning: I co-write and send out all the newsletters, deal with the replies, and manage his missions account. I'm really enjoying being able to support him in this way since I love writing and secretary kind of things whilst it's his weak point.
The only reason today was so bad was because I had to write and have the newsletter all ready to go by tomorrow morning. And I woke up this morning exhausted and with a migraine. The sun really shouldn't have risen this morning.
I was a wreck and couldn't face trying to write the newsletter, and then ring up Matt to hash it out with him. Mum turned into my saviour. She wrote up a rough draft and helped me all the way through the fine tuning stage. It was about 4:00 o'clock when we finished stage one.
I then went to run off 80 copies on our photocopier only to discover that the ink cartridge was way past it's finish date.....we didn't have another in the house. So, shaking and babying it along, we managed to coax the copies we needed out of it.
The final haul was typing up and printing out the 75 envelopes. It should have been easy; it was the home run. It took me 3 hours. And simply because our computer is a dying derelict! First the address was printing upside-down. Then on the left. Then it left out the return address. It was maddening.
I think the only thing that kept me from throwing everything in the air and screaming was a song by The Lads called Island. It's got the most calming melody. Not like a waterfall, but more like the pure grace of a dream. The first verse goes:
You take me to an island
Far from all my cares
Not really a place more
In my heart somewhere
When I look into your eyes
I particularly like that line: "When I look into your eyes" . It reminds me that I can only make it through each day when I keep my eyes focused on God--when I look into His eyes.
How many times that song can be repeated in 3 hours is how many times I did play it. And because of it, my awesome Mum, and my great Dad and siblings who stuffed envelopes, the newsletter is ready to flood the post office tomorrow.
Otherwise it was a day they'd send nearly anyone to Heaven early.
I am?
You are Luthien Tinuviel, the most beautiful of the
Children of Iluvatar. Daughter of Melian the
Maia, the power and nobility of your spirit
could charm the mighty Mandos, keeper of the
dead, and overmaster Sauron, evil minion of
Morgoth. You sacrificed everything for your
love of the gentle mortal, Beren, and took his
doom and the doom of Men upon yourself.
Which Elf chick are you from Tolkien's Quenta Silmarillion?
brought to you by Quizilla
Finding out just what results you get for some quizzes can be hilarious. I ended up being "the perfect girl for Johnny Depp" in one and Sam Gamgee in another....but this one I kind of thought, "hey, I could happily be an Elf who gives up the wisdom and pain of long life." Doesn't hurt that I'm the saviour of mankind to boot. ;)
Bleary eyed
*yawn* I love sleep; I'm totally addicted to it. But my body just won't seem to do it at the moment. During my last Glandular Fever relapse I slept most of the day away and stayed up 'til 12:00. I finally decided that was just too messed up so I've been trying to fix up my sleeping hours. And now that I'm sleeping "at night" I'm sleeping really badly. I keep waking at the slightest noises and can't get to sleep for ages. It's enough to make me consider going back to being a day sleeper.....at least I slept solid then. But then it's just one of the big problems of a non-functioning thyroid. The body just gets tipped inside-out.
Looking on the good side, though, when ever am I going to get a good enough excuse again in my lifetime where I can actually sleep crazy hours? ;)
Quote of the moment
~Write on your heart that every day is the best day of the year~
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Anime chick
It took me so long to get that pic up! HTML is simple, and easy to learn, but only if the website author trying to explain how to do it uses non-abbreviated words. I don't suppose it didn't help that I also mixed up '/' with '\'.....a tiny mistake that almost threw me off the edge. Whoops. :S
The wonderful artist who can draw such cute faces is Aimee (alias Azusachan), my brother-in-law's cousin who lives in Melbourne. The faces and butterfly-winged boots in alot of her drawings are gorgeous! I particularly love a piece of hers called Moonlight Lullaby and I'd give you the link to it except that it's mysteriously disappeared off her site.
New at the game
I can see I'm gonna look back on the archives of my blog maybe six months from now and see how much I've progressed in HTML language and just on how to type a post. For now I'm doing this all with that unsure-in-a-new-environment-yet-excited feel.
Some people use their blog for writing about one specific area of their life, maybe what's happening in their spiritual walk or what movies they like and why, but I guess I'm gonna do a bit of everything. I plan to use this place for "random collectiongs" of thoughts, songs I love, sayings, Bible verses, my ranting philisophies, my odd doings, and whatever else pops up in my life.
All in all, I hope y'all shall be able to use it to follow what's happening in my life and even learn a little more about me from things I post up here that I'd probably not send in an e-mail (like song lyrics and so on). Shall be interesting--whatever happens.
Sonrisa!
Lyd :)
