One Night of My Life
I thought I was in a mess last week, but this week is beyond messed up. Any sleeping routine I ever had has run off and abandoned me.
Last night I was so exhausted after tea, I just hopped straight into bed. I woke up 3 hours later in a total sweat. It was so gross. I don't usually wake up so hot and covered in sweat like that, but my doctor was telling me that it's one of the top symptoms of thyroid problems and she was surprised it didn't happen to me all the time.
Well, those three hours of sleep seemed to do more for me than a whole twelve. My head was clear (no migraine, it was the strangest sensation). I still felt really weak and tired in my body, but my brain wasn't going to let me go back to sleep (it's a nasty cycle. My brain and body just aren't in sync very often at the moment. When ones tired the other isn't and so in the end the one that's awake won't let me sleep).
I watched half a movie; finished A Voice in the Wind; and at 1:00 in the morning decided to change the sheets on my bed (coz' they were so gross with sweat) and have a shower. I had to laugh, because here I was changing my sheets at one in the morning, and my little sister, Hannah (12), opened her eyes and said, "Hi". Then promptly rolled over and went back to sleep. I think she must be so used to living with a sister who lives such crazy hours that nothing surprises her anymore. If Lyd's changing her sheets after midnight, well, no problem. That's just, Lyd! lol It's really quiet good, I guess, since we never seem to go to bed or get up at the same times anymore, but since we're both such sound sleepers we don't usually wake each other up if we're banging around the room.
I had my shower, and felt so nice afterwards. Snuggled up in my bed (sleeping backwards....simply because I sleep so much I've become bored sleeping with my head up the other end...) I started Echo in the Dark and waited until 3:00am when I needed to take my tablets. It wasn't, however, until 4:00 o'clock that I was finally able to fall back to sleep for the second time that night. I slept 'til 9:00 o'clock this morning and woke up feeling like I'd been drugged...But, that aside, I figure I had about 8 hours sleep last night. Just all broken up.
It seems to be the only way I can get sleep: in patches. My body has to be totally exhausted before it can't not sleep; to that point where I can't even look at a person without them blurring. And I think it's mostly because of the pain in my head. Migraines control the body. That's that.
Not all my nights are like last night, but I think 97% would have to be close. What's surprising is that today I actually had an above-average day. I felt horrible when I woke up, but I chatted with Matt for a while this morning and once I hung up my body seemed to have gathered itself together a bit. I got some desperately needed "secretarial duties" done, which is such a nice feeling.
But that's the simple truth of it. I never know what the night is going to be like, and then in kind never know what the morrow holds. 'Cause even a bad night doesn't mean the worse-of-days the next. And not even a good night means the best-of-days either.
But then, I never do have a best or a worse day. I have worse-moments and best-moments. One certain emotion for me can't last a whole 24 hours. My body is too unstable at present for that kind of consistantness.
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