Friday, March 19

Like a Flower In the Rain

Last night after I finished my brief post about being so tired, I remembered a small reminder I once wrote myself. It must have been over three years ago now. I was having to work through some things in my life and it really felt like I was screaming out to God and all I was hearing was silence. Almost like I was yelling back at thunder. I felt helpless, like I was drowning and being pelted into the ground. The suffocating feel of drowning has come back quiet a lot lately and especially last night. I'm just so exhausted and most days it seems that the roof of my world has cracked and the rain is pouring in, set to drown me.

And I think it must be a God Thing that the metaphor I wrote over 3 years ago applies more so to my life at this moment than it did back then. It goes:

~like a flower in the rain~
Do not let the rain pelt you into the ground.
And do not let it drown you in it's waters.
But thank the Lord for these trials and this suffering,
Through which our Saviour can strengthen every fibre in us.
That you will not be crushed into the dust of this land;
That while your roots are growing stronger and deeper
Into the earth, you will become
More beautiful that before--like a flower in the rain.

The orginal version that I wrote on a piece of lined paper in pencil is still tucked into my Bible at Psalm 77. Before writing it, I'd just discovered that chapter and at the time claimed it as my *own*. I was seriously doubting if God really existed at the time because I just couldn't see Him. Know what I mean? And this chapter rocked my boat, reminding me to "appeal" this to "the years of the right hand of the most High."

Psalm 77

1 I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted.

3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
Selah
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
5 I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart mused and my spirit inquired:

7 "Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"
Selah

10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal:
the years of the right hand of the Most High."
11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD ;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.

13 Your ways, O God, are holy.
What god is so great as our God?
14 You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
Selah

16 The waters saw you, O God,
the waters saw you and writhed;
the very depths were convulsed.
17 The clouds poured down water,
the skies resounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.
18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
your lightning lit up the world;
the earth trembled and quaked.
19 Your path led through the sea,
your way through the mighty waters,
though your footprints were not seen.

20 You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

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