I've Decided
...that I dislike mood swings. The other night had to have been the first time I've quite literally cried myself to sleep. I just get so depressed and sick of everything. I get so frustrated because I can't stop it. The depression sprouts from my thyroid not working; it takes root as I begin to get annoyed at not being able to do somethings; and it blossoms into a full-grown terror as I discover I don't have the power to stop it from beginning. If I knew it was all inside my head I'd be able to conquer it, but because it's from this it's FRUSTRATING. I can't stop it. I don't even have control over my daily routine. I feel like someone's cut my mooring ropes and that I'm now lost, helplessly being buffeted at the slightest whim of the sea. Laughing and joyful as I help Mum and Grandma make tea one moment--only to want to scream, sleep, and cry all at once as I feel the exhaustion and fatigue flood through me a moment later.
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