Tumoulin Girl

I hope this explains things some...

I'm haven't posted for quite a while...not like I expected. I was planning on giving you guys a big "update" post as soon as we made it home from Sydney. Well, this is the first I've checked my e-mails in the last five days. I just copy and pasted this out of an e-mail I just wrote to a dear friend,and I hope it helps to explain things some...

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I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to get back to you. I ment to reply as soon as I got home...but as soon as I got home my whole life kind of went upside down and through the blender. For starters I wasn't expecting my body to crash so badly. I slept for 12 hours and all I ended up doing after eating was going back to bed. The next morning I had such a bad sinus headache, sore throat and runny nose that I just had to have caught the flu. Then that night Mum and Dad told us that Grandpa had died early that morning.

I guess, I hadn't really been coping with just being extra sick on top of the usual. I had already dropped to depression level, and then to hear Papa Doug was gone....somehow it still seems so unreal, yet so real as well. Logically I know I won't see him when I see Grandma next, yet the image of him standing beside her is still there. Could you please really pray for me? I feel I really need it at this time. I feel so sick and depressed, and I wasn't even able to face unpacking my bag neveralone Grandpa dying. Somehow, I'm not sure I'm even really grieved yet...I've cried some, but I think the worse of it will come later when I'm physically coping better. The last few days I've just spent trying to live the day through, escaping in books and movies.

I'm sorry this is a pretty down e-mail...After having a great time down there, I was the last person expecting such a deep valley waiting for me when I got home. I'm still trying to smile--but I guess, you know how hard that can be sometimes, hey?

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I've decided to start a new section on my sideline called "collection". A place to put links to stuff I've written. If you'd like to take a peek, I've put up two of my latest so called "writings". The night I learnt Grandpa had died I wrote Grandpa of My Heart. Then, two days ago, I wrote When Walking In the Valley when I was at my lowest point. There's a few other titles under "colletion", but I haven't made up their pages yet. Hopefully they'll be up soon, though. Or...who knows...one day. I'll be sure to let you know when, dearies. :)

posted by Lydia @ 11:39 pm