Three Funnys and a Laugh
Hey, sorry about all this hopscotch. Hopefully this is the last shift. If not and the website ever goes down again, wait a few days and check back. If it's not back hop over to my usual blogspot address. Hopefully it'll never go down again for so long but if it does, I'll either get off my lazy butt and pay for a real server or I'll switch back to blogger for good.
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But yeah, on another subject. Check these out. I found them in the country newspaper last night.
New Zealand Not for Sale
You can buy anything on the internet, even New Zeland apparently. Somebody in Australia tried to offload our neighbour - a naiton of four million people - to the highest bidder on the internet auction site eBay. From a one-cent start, 22 brisk bidders took the price to AUS$3,000 before the "sale" was pulled from the website.
Watermelon Warning
A farmer has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some local kids have bee helpng themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!" The farmer returns a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have beeen eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"
Rain Gauge Competition
After five years of drought the people of Cunnamulla are finding new uses for their rain gauges. One local horse trainer used his to measure his liquid horse feed. A local "cocky ' who has been on the land for 40 years uses his as a port glass. The federal Member of the Maranoa Bruce Scott reckons his is put to good use measuring bulldust. The Cunnamulla and District Show Society is running a competition to find the most innovative use for a rain gauge. The winner will be announced at the show on May 20. To enter contact the Cunnamulla Visitor Information Centre.
Puppy Love
The Ringer stumbled across this list of why men have two dogs and not two wives:
* The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
* Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
* Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
* Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
* Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
* A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
* If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
* If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
2 Comments:
Sounds like your country newspaper is entertaining... =D
That last part was the best XD
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