International Nuances
Elyse and I have had an interesting time communicating lately, bringing to a light a lot of Aussie slang I didn't know existed. I thought I had the worse of them figured out, but today Jolene and I had what has to be the ultimate international miscommunication of the month.
I woke up feeling wonderful that's how it began. A miracle had occurred over night and the raging temperature had dropped from a frightening 47 to a lovely 39. The breeze is cool, like a breath of life, instead of the furnace blast of oven-hot gales it has been the last week; and as I sit here now the wind chime in our patio is tinkling it's little heart out, making me think of autumn, spring, and all things that aren't right now.
It was early, that was the other miracle. I was awake at ten thirty and actually really awake. I've been meaning to ring Jolene for weeks, but with my sleeping routine being so messed up, by the time I got up she would have already been in bed and fast, fast asleep (or so we can only hope. Late night sojourns for both of us mightn't have been a good thing for the world at large).
So I rang. I jumped out of bed, ran for the phone still in my pink cookie monster pj's (so I dream about food in my sleep, leave me alone), and dialed darling Jolene's number. Good days deserve a cherry top, and laughing with Jolene is always a cherry on top of any lovely large-bowl-of-ice-cream day.
We got to talking about furniture. I can't remember how that happened. But somehow we did and Jolene says off-hand, "My Dad bought this wooden rocking bench for my mum once. I think it was for her birthday or an anniversary or some such."
Now I'm Aussie (duh), and I didn't associate rocking bench with the right object (we call kitchen counters benches over here). Immediately I invisioned a kitchen counter rocking back and forth like a rocking chair and screwing up my little nose I exclaimed gullibly, "I don't think I've ever seen a rocking bench."
"Are you serious? Well, this is just lovely. It's made of this wood that smells beautiful."
"What on earth do you use it for?"
"You sit on it!"
"What? Why would you do that..."
"Because it swings and..."
"Oh! Do you mean like a swing? Like a porch swing? I thought you were meaning a bench like a kitchen counter! I was thinking of a kitchen bench and I couldn't figure out why anyone would want a kitchen bench to rock. Just imagine, you're chopping onions and it rocks unexpectedly and whoosh! off flies the chopping board."
Like I said, it has to be the ultimate international mess-up of the month. I thought it was funny the first time I rang her and her Dad answered the phone and couldn't understand my accent and nearly hung up on me. But this is almost better. Who on earth has ever heard of a rocking kitchen bench? Maybe I should Google it.
Countdown: 4 days to the Winter Olympics.
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