Friday, January 28

First Thorough Update of the Year

Ok, here goes.

*Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
As of my last talk with my doctor, I officially have CFS. All the problems and repeated disasters of last year conclude that I'm allergic to all of the medication that could do me any good. This means that it's going to be quite a slow process getting well again and it could extend anywhere between a year to four. But seeings as I have already gone through two, maybe that qualifies me for only two more...

*Don't Take Aspirin
In the last four months I've lived on a lot of Panadol and Aspirin just to try and cope with the pain. Eventually this got to my stomach and I went down with some pretty horrendous Gastritis attacks over Christmas and earlier this month. My stomach is so touchy now that I can't even handle the mildest painkiller. And so let me say it simply: don't ever take Aspirin! Any pain is endurable over having a Gastritis attack. Trust me.

*Braces
Hannah and I get our braces in on Monday. First Mum, her and I will have to drive seven hours to Dubbo (nearest orthodontist). It's gonna be some long trips every six weeks, but we've already done them before when Mum, Rachel, and Matt had braces. Besides all of the shopping us girls will get to do in the next 18 months, I'll also have plenty of hours to practice driving on a road with other cars as well...

*Only Hope
My latest favourite song is Only Hope sung by Mandy Moore. Get a copy of it. It's beautiful.

"Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing
And laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have
For me over again"

*New York Institute of Photography
Because I won't be having to try heaps of different medications this year, we're hoping I'll be stable enough emotionally and physically to handle tackling a photography course. I'm especially excited about this idea. After a bit of surfing around, the New York Institute of Phography's Digital Photography: The Complete Course stood out as being the best (Even teaches all the ins and outs of using Photoshop *grin*) I plan to think about it a little more and give a bit of prayer, but hopefully this will be somthing I'll be raving about and doing assignments for, for the rest of this year.

*Cafe de Flores: the Offical Website
Another project of this year is to successfully create my own website. I'm so fussy I'm not sure just how sucessful I'll be. But hey...I've got plenty of time to try. The arrival of a laptop should help in this endevure as I'll be able to sit in bed where I won't get too cold. At the moment our computer is on our back verandah where it's either boiling hot in summer or antarctica in Winter. Because my poor body seems set on not being able to keep my temperature at the right level, it means long hours out here can be utter misery (yes, Kaycie, I'm sooking. Be quiet :p).

*Home from Zambia
To all of you who don't yet know, my older bro, Matt is getting back from Africa next week! *does the happy dance* I'm so looking forward to seeing him.

*18 Next Year
Now I best run before Hannah turns up and informs me that I promised to only be twenty minutes an hour ago. But one last bit of highly important information before I go--I'll be turing 18 next year. Even more freaky is the thought that I'll be 20 when the Olympics next come around. Scary, no?

Wednesday, January 12

*No Comment*

Quite Simply: Lyd says:
ok
Quite Simply: Lyd says:
thatamakessense
RISTMO (College Kid) says:
withnospacescausethey'reevilandyoushouldn'teverusethem,right?
Quite Simply: Lyd says:
mythoughtsexactly
Quite Simply: Lyd says:
and abbreviations too
Quite Simply: Lyd says:
L.T.I.R.H.T.R.
RISTMO (College Kid) says:
*combination of perplexed/shocked/upset emoticons*
RISTMO (College Kid) says:
Lyd Thinks In Riddles Hating The Rhyme
Quite Simply: Lyd says:
lol
Quite Simply: Lyd says:
I needn't tell you what it means now
RISTMO (College Kid) says:
Lyd Teaches Irony. Rick Hates That Reasoning.
Quite Simply: Lyd says:
am I suppose to be picking up some hint here?
RISTMO (College Kid) says:
Little Thimbles In Red Hats Tear Ribbons
Quite Simply: Lyd says:
irony is good ;)
RISTMO (College Kid) says:
Like That Isn't Really Horribly Terrificly Radically [obvious]

Tuesday, January 11

Hold Me Jesus
Because I can feel the dark. I can. And it's so cold...so cold.

Sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
Copyright 1993 - Edward Grant, Inc.

Sunday, January 2

Different Feeling

About a month ago I pulled my many finished and some only half-full journals off my shelf and read through them. Some things I wrote made me cringe; others gave me sweet memories accompanied by giggles; and I'm sure I cried at times. But one thing that I remember the strongest is this first paragraph I wrote in a journal I began on the 2nd of October, '02:

"It's a different feeling writing in a new journal. When I wrote in my last journal it was like I was adding to every burden and memory I'd written of beforehand. Whether it was good or bad, those incidents strengthened their hold on me. Now that I've closed that journal and placed it on the shelf it's as if I've closed a file. If and when I want to I can go open that file and pull out the parts to look at that I want. But otherwise I can leave the draw put away, leave it there and move beyond the grasp of those reminders."

I feel exactly like that now--with the New Year just begun. I feel as if I've cut off the hold that all the pain and despair of last year had on me and closed it away in a file. I feel lighter. Free-er. As if I'm standing on a mountain top and there's the sweet breath of wild wind dancing through my hair, whispering to me the many wishes and wonders and untainted hopes of a new year. I can't run laughing with the wind--that wish of wellness hasn't yet been granted--but one thing I do know and that is that I can laugh nonetheless--letting loose in sacrifice the joy that God sends to me when I have no happiness of my own.