Tumoulin Girl

The Last Five Days

Hannah is right, she somehow blew the microwave. It's gone psycho--won't heat anything--and so I'm here waiting for my tea to heat up in the oven. I'd forgotten how long gas ovens can take to heat up...

Still, it's been too long since I've posted and with this sudden occurance thought I'd better. Actually not this occurance, but one of last week. I ran out of my thyroid medication a few days before more came in the mail. Then I did a really silly thing and instead of slowly increasing back up to the dosage that I was on before, I went and just took the whole amount. Naturally, my body freaked and I overdosed. I fell asleep something like six hours later, and the next day got a migraine. I quickly weaned myself off 'cause always when I've done that I've settled again, but something must have gone totally wrong. My doctor reckons I must have thrown something out of balance--drastically.

The last five days I've pretty much been bedridden. I'm having to take Panadol, and when that isn't strong enough, Aspirin to dull the pain in my head enough so that I can sleep. And I'm just so weak. My hands are always shaking, and my heart has been really erratic. Yesterday it was pounding so hard it was like there was a hundred birds beating there wings all at once inside my chest, and it was making me feel sick down to my stomach.

I'm really not coping with it very well, I guess...it's just I've been here before, and I thought that because I could spot an overdose within 24 hours now that I'd be able to avoid it. It's just...grrr...I'm nearly bored out of my brain. I'm having to make myself stay off the computer since the glare only makes my migraine worse. Sure, I'm reading alot, but once you've read a hundred odd pages out of the four different books you've got going you're about ready to gag on words. Plus I've listened to every CD I own almost enough times to just up and give them all away.

You know, it was strange going back and reading my old journals last night. I was so cheerful. I rarely ever mentioned crying, and back then I described it as "washing the windows of my heart" whilst now all the crying I do only seems to drown it. I even used to bake cookies on my "pj days". That kind of shocked me when I thought about it 'cause now for me PJ Days don't even consist of getting out of bed. And scariest of all is that I haven't cooked cookies once this year. I've just never had the strength.

I tried to get a hold of my doctor over the weekend, but she was at a medical conference and I only finally got ahold of her yesterday afternoon. Like I guessed, she wants me to get a blood test right away and ring her back in a couple of days. The guys in town couldn't get me in for the blood test until Friday morning, though, so it's probably going to end up Monday or Tuesday next week before we'll know what to do next. I dunno how I'm going to cope until then. Would you just please pray? I couldn't cope with the thought yesterday, and I ended up sitting down in front of Mum and balling my eyes out. I'm just so emotionally exhausted.

I know this isn't the end. I know one day I'll get to bake cookies again. But still sometimes...sometimes the mountains look so big--and my faith just seems so small.

posted by Lydia @ 10:12 pm 0 comments

Sittin' on a Washin' Machine

I think anyone can safely claim to having had an interesting morning when they've spent a good 15 minutes of that time of day perched on the top of a washing machine. As it goes, I was in the bathroom when I heard Aaron and Caleb's excited voices coming from outside, "Snake! I think it's a snake!"
Aaron: "It looks dead."
Caleb: "It's a snake..."
Dad's voice joins in at this stage, coming from the shed, "What?!"
Both of them: "Snake!"
Dad: "Don't move!"

A few good seconds passed while I finished up in the bathroom, where I figure Dad must have grabbed the nearest shovel and ran for the house. I went out the school room back door, and there was Hannah who'd somehow slung herself half way over the back fence and who looked almost stuck. "Where's the snake?" I asked.
Wobbling precariously, she lifted one hand and pointed towards the clothsline and the boys standing excitedly on the trampoline. I left her to her own devices to complete her journey over the fence, and running back in the school room door, went down the back verandah and out our real back-door to the laundry.

As it went, the Little Boys hadn't actually seen the whole snake, but just it's head as it poked it's way out of a crack in the concrete pathway out to the clothes-line. We'd had a few points of rain over night and it's home of passageways under the concrete had become flooded. The jolly reptile had slunk back into his hidey hole, however, quite unaware of how many human eyes were waiting for his slightest move...

Even a whole urnfull of hot water wouldn't convince him to make an appearance. I had climbed onto the washing machine by this point--I figure there must be some safety in height--and was hanging over the edge to get a view through the open door. I pressed the button on the camera; took a shot. Every eye kept watching. Then suddenly Dad's voice took on the boyish tone of excitement, "I see him! Quick! I need something to get down this crack!" There was a little bit of mental commotion between father and son, and then Josh tore back through the door and past me, "My machete!" He was back in quick time and an insignificiant crack between two slabs of concrete underwent quite a frightful attack by a machete at Dad's hand...



But to no avail. The crack remained as it ever was and some sneaky little snake was still breathing happily under his fortress of binded sand. The watch for him wore on. Hannah fetched a torch to see if that would bring him to light, but even with Josh down on his knees, his head almost level with the crack like a Muslim in prayer didn't bring about anything more than a fine observation of his back jeans pocket.

I dare say, the boys were a mite disappointed...lol

posted by Lydia @ 1:10 pm 0 comments